539ord.
"I dreamed about you last night. Much more than I've ever done. Perhaps it is karma giving back or wants revenge for something that I did. Perhaps it was a glimpse of the future or was it just something that would remind my broken heart."
"I don't remember all the details but I remember the essentials. It was you and me. And some of our friends. You showed me that text for me I sent in August and laughed loud. I did not flinch. I felt even more hurt and I lowered my head to hide my face with my hair. Why did he do that to me? Did he want to see me unhappy? But then he said, "It's getting a bit chilly." At least something like it, but I knew exactly what he meant. For a second, I was happy and thought it could be something between us again. He smiled, and did it the way I like it. He was so handsome. Much prettier than what I have tried to remember."
"Then it was time for us all to sleep. It was you, me and my best friend in the same room. You had the most uncomfortable place in the room. I sneered to myself. Maybe it was my subconscious penalty against him? Not enough thought but I was hopeful. You smiled again. I melted inside and was like became paralyzed as I always was. I caressed your hair, the spirals in your neck. I will always remember that about you. They were very charming to me. But the way you smile, laugh and look at me is priceless."
"Then the memory begins to blacken, you, the room and myself floating out and becomes a mess. We are fading out. But in the dream, I know we will meet again but not soon enough. I miss you. But after that text and the reply you sent to me, I will never again dare to meet you. Because I know you will laugh and I will be ashamed and you will not say that it's "chilly", because it's been a long time ago when I first met you, many months when I could not eat or sleep because I thought of you, many months ago it could have been us, many months since she called and wanted to try again, many months ago, you chickened out and choose the safe way, many months ago, I cried- for I don't know how many nights- before I could sleep. The number of months is a long time. Perhaps there wasn't so much between us. Maybe I just making this all up? You'd know."
"My best friend always said: It will run out soon, they all did. But against all odds, it has been many months and you are still together. I'm still hurt. I still think of you sometimes. Not every day, not anymore. Time has done that it might go a few days before you cross my mind again for a sec. And I am, subconsciously, grateful. I wish I never met you. I wish that you never talked to me. If you behaved like an idiot in the first place, I had not been in this situation."
